One-Upper

Whatever.  My thumb is double jointed.  Can you do that?  

Magic Juan

Witness the magical powers of genuine 10K plated gold turning green.  It ain't easy for a pimp.

White Guy with a Little Gun

Eeek!!!

Gyro vs Kebab

Yeah, that's right asshole.  You are going down.  

Who is this guy?

Why is he advertising single shoes? I don't get it. Help me out here....

Creature

Hurry up. Stick it back in!!!!

The Girl

This is the girl I reference in my next post.

Papa likes his goats.

Reminds me of a girl I used to know.(back in Albania)

A boy with a problem

Dickhead?

T or G?

Now, is this a tranny or a granny. The package indicates tranny but the demeanor indicates the latter. Can we make up a new word, "Tigranny" or should we just stick to the old standby "freak". Either way, the camel toe made me horf.

Alien

OK, I know I'm supposed to know who this "celebrity" is, but I don't and I don't really care. What intrigues me is the idea of an alien task force infiltrating Hollywood movies and brainwashing Americans. Are those lips human? See, see, it is a plot!!!! Honey, where's my tinfoil???

Mysty

Simply so tacky; I'm not sure what to say.  There is so much wrong with this picture that I don't know where to begin.  I am completely mystified and dumbfounded.  I can not look away.  How much for a hand job? 

Lighten Up Guys!

Why so serious?  It's a beautiful day!!!!!!

Chubby and the Chocolate Factory

Is it me or is there something particularly disturbing about a big fat lady advertising her chocolate factory?  No thanks.

Sweet Little Lost Pixie

Darling little pixie got lost at the mall.  Who will help her find her way out of the wilderness?

Attention Whore

"Bitch is trying to steal my thunder!" - Snake

An Artist, a Business Man, and a Farmer

An artist is someone who produces things that people don't need to have but that he - for some reason - thinks it would be a good idea to give them.  - Andy Warhol

Joel loves him some parsnips...

Who knew a root could be so damn sexy?

Blue Ribbon Winner!

Sure fire way to win the 4-H blue ribbon at the county fair, grow the biggest parsnip!

Sid and Nancy

Now those are aspirations!

Faster Pussy Cat!

I said Faster Pussy Cat!!  Get the fuck away from me.  I don't want anyone to see us together.  Gawd!!

Queen of the Magic the Gathering Tournament

All Hail Sheila!

Still Crazy After All These Years

Knights of the Round Table Reunion Tour 08'.  Coming to a Faire near you.  

Neil the Centaur

Neil needs to cut back on ye olde ale.   

Papa Smurf's 4th of July treat

My neighbors drinking in the back yard and setting off 500 cheezy bottle rockets has put me in a mood. So I salute you People of America. This is your day to be proud!

Mitch Tries and Tries to Kill Stuff But It Never Works Out

It's Okay Mitch; we aren't all natural born killers.

Mitch Kills Stuff and Puts It's Head in a Hefty Bag

Keeping dead heads in your garage is pure class.  Miss Manners told me so.

Mitch Kills Stuff

What you are looking at, my friends, is a Bad Ass.  Protecting his momma from big, mean turkeys.

Mitch Pretends to Kill Stuff

Won sixth place in the Chapman County Fencing Tournament of 1972, hasn't put his epee down since.

Mitch Wants to Kill Stuff

With his lethal hands and stealthy foot action.

Mitch Makes His Audience Disappear

Seriously, it's true.  They walk out.