Misty

"Yeah, Um, Misty, we need to talk.  You are a great girl, and you bring a lot of color to the office, but yeah, you are going to need to tone it done a little.  You see, this is an insurance agency.  Yeah, so let's try to dress for success.  Alrighty?"

Baby Face

See, what I do is I tell people that it is a mask.  

Buffet Table

Fresh!  As if!  

Man and Elf

"No honey, those elf ears don't make you look fat."

Inner thought:  I never realized how much you look like a rabbit.  Shit, you look really fucking wierd.  How am I going to get the burned image of my wife - the crazy ass elf rabbit face - out of my head?  How am I going to fuck this bitch later?  Well, I am holding a foam and electrical tape sword.  I will use that.  She will never know the difference.   

"We are going to beat the shit out of those dwarfs.  Smarmy bastards."

Ma Chèrie Amour

Is nothing sacred?

Groupie

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Festival Faery

I will lick your spleen out, peasant.

Bob

Just your typical cast fetish riding playground equipment.  Nothing new to report.

Gender Identity Crisis

Maria, is that you?

Jane

Jane goes
To the store at 8:00
She walk up on St. Andrews

Horse Drawn Burn-Out

Chrystal, I had no idea that we would lose at Asshole.  I am so sorry.  I just thought that he was just another dumb, drunk regular.  He was the Asshole for 23 rounds, I never thought he would become President.  

Fragile

Look what UPS dropped off today.  What do you think it is?  The suspence is killing me.  Grab utility knife, and let's pop this baby open.  Uh?

Pregnancy Sympathy

Don't think for one second that we are buying the whole "I just want you to know that I'm here for you" nonsense.  Just another guy in a fat suit.

Gender Confusion

MIT Professor vs. Troll.  You be the judge.

Bharadwaj

I know you are a happy guy, but it probably isn't a good idea to brag about it.  

The Sacrifice

I ask thee to remove this maiden from the hell that is to the right of the off-ramp, just west of highway 43 across from the Walmart and take her to the underworld where she will sleep peacefully for eternity.  

Melts in your mouth?

It is time for a makeover when you notice that the candy is sexier than you.  

His name was Lola...

Wiseapple.

Meet yur PAPA!!!!

I am Papa. Not baby or one of the other pussies. PAPA...can you say that? Now, can anybody drain my colosotomy bag for me? I'm full.

Keep the dream alive!

Blimey, we've a mermaid caught in the net.  Shimmer me timbers!  Cut 'er loose!  Slippery wet beauty, me arse!  

Hey Sugar, I want you to meet my buddies!

"Hey Y'all, I want you to meet Lacy, my best girl.  Ain't she pretty?"

Orange Soda, So Light and Refreshing

Dear Jessica,

Somebody lied to you.  I mean really truly lied to you.  

Your humble servant,
Cream Princess

My house, my rule!

Did you want fries with that?

thanks leenks.com

So this is what it's come to....

Poor girl's expression speaks for itself.

thanks Yuko no Hatsu

Dance goat dance!

What can I say????

A Modern Faery Tale

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Introducing Our New Bachelorette

"I said I was into Road Head not Road Kill!!!"

thanks to Jeff

Trekkie Vacation Souvenir

Fortunately dorkiness isn't hereditary, there is still still hope for Phuong!

Mummy

Mummy?  Mummy?!  Mummy?!!!  Help!  Help!!  Francine!!  Dammit Francine!!  Where are you?  Help!  Help!!  Francine??!!  Mummy??!?!??!?!  Help!!!  Oh, shit.

Front Butt Elvis

Finally, the truth!!

The Prince of Peace

A LITTLE BIT RENAISSANCE, A LITTLE BIT ROCK 'N ROLL

Jesus

You've received a back stage pass to Heaven, my son.

Cowboy Dan

Available for birthdays and bat mitvahs.

Rod

"Take notice, I keep me poison darts in this handy fanny pack that I shuttled back from me visit to 1993.  Is it not glorious?" - Rod

Guitar Hero

Where's the bloody cord?
 

Pimp and His Bitches

Jim: "What the hell do you wear to a Robin Hood Wedding?"
Cathy: "How the hell should I know, they are your friends."
Jim: "Well, I have my pimp costume from last Halloween."
Cathy: "Yeah, that will be fine, just put this feather in the hat.  People wore feathers back then, didn't they?"
Jim:  "Shit, this feels good.  I forgot how much I love this costume."
Cathy: "Come here Tiger."
Jim: "Shut up ho, get down on your knees."

Naked Fairy

My nemesis.  Cheeky bitch.